Tuesday, January 10, 2012

We Create the Things We Fear

We create what we fear,

what strange birds we are.

Out of our deep needs thwarted,

filled with energy

and driven by layers of desire,

we create what we fear.

Abusers of our own souls,

trained in the not knowing,

hungry in the unmet,

we create what we fear.

We become images of our unmet desires,

we become desirous of our unmet image

and in the meeting of these

we create the things we fear.

“As we cradle the withered arm

we favor the place the knife went in.1

As a wounded finger

leads the arm to the wall,

we fill our world to gain

what we were never given

and ache in the illusion.

Longings tie us by a string to our core

and we travel our route in ever smaller circles.

Marking time out of fear

We numb our living

We go crying for the vibrations of life.

Our narrowed vision

finds only the echo of our longings,

and we create what we fear.

John Weber Jan 1998

1 From Hearts that we Broke Long Ago by Merle Shain

From: Hearts That We Broke Long Ago. By Merle Shain Page. 5

I would start at the beginning if I knew where the beginning was, but I do not know for sure.

I only suspect that it all starts with the first deep wound, and after that, like a person who limps or cradles their withered arm close to their side, we favor the place where the knife went in.

Each of us carries with us an inner knowledge about the way we have been and will be betrayed; so there are those who believe we make it happen out of our unrest.

But maybe it is simply that great needs, cause great fears, and great fears keep us needful long into the night.

I do not know the answers, I only know it happens far more than one would wish and that many people remain pilgrims and never come to peace.

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